Remember that TV documentary about liposuction ? All those disgusting, greasy, yellow dollops of fat they removed? Remember when Vanessa Feltz suddenly slimmed down by a ton or two? Remember when you yourself lost that fifteen pounds last summer?
Clearing Fat from Sewers
Where do you think all the lost fat went?
Perhaps you thought you sweated it out, and it just evaporated into the air. Or perhaps you imagined the Feltz household having cupboards filled with fat. Or the liposuction clinic possibly shipping all the yellow stuff to China, where they add whitener and sell it back to us as packaged lard.
Guess again…
This is the sewer running under Leicester Square, where Thames Water have been busy clearing the build-up of fat. One thousand tonnes of it. Enough to fill nine whole double-decker buses. Though the Daily Moaner understands there are no current plans to do this.
See that bit right on top of the shovel? The bit that’s glistening? That’s your fifteen pounds. That used to be your belly. Or maybe your arse. Think how much happier you were when you had it… okay, so you were more — comfy — then, but you didn’t have to watch what you ate and count every bloody calorie. But now… think about it… you can have it back if you want. Just ask Thames Water nicely.
Disclaimer: The Daily Moaner couldn’t be arsed to research this story properly. There is just an outside chance that all that fat isn’t your personal lost poundage at all, but may be down to the fat products you poured down the sink. Either way, it’s your fault.
What are Thames Water going to do with it? We don’t know. But maybe they do ship it to China, where they add whitener to it and sell it back to us as packaged lard. Who knows?