Now that Dave-the-Pink-and-Shiny and Crown Prince Clegg have taken over, a brand-new sleaze season has begun. Hooray! So here is a round-up of recent news stories which the politicians would much rather not talk about.
String ‘em up: Oh dear, new borey-Tory Rory Stewart doesn’t think much of his constituents, who are “primitives holding up their trousers with string .” How long is a piece of string? Depends on their waist-lines. And guess where he went to school? You can tell just by looking at the little prat.
Coalition’s First Love-Rat Sex Scandal: Tory MP Patrick Mercer legs it after leg-over, is pursued by woman scorned, leaving her in debt. Click on the link for salacious details.
Mark Legless gets reckless… or something like that. Zonks out after twenty-seven too many, and catches forty zeds on the floor of a Commons Bar. Misses crucial vote, which was kind of important, him being a Tory MP and all…
Commons Pick-up Spot… Paul Flynn, Labour MP for Newport West is the author of “Commons Knowledge — How to be a Backbencher .” The next edition may reveal where our randy representatives go to find Tory Totty, Coalition Crumpet and Luscious Labour Lovelies — the Commons Central Lobby, where these ladies are known as “bed warmers.” Oo-er! Who would have thought? No word, though, on where the gay contingent go cruising.
And lastly…
Re-writing History… Want to check on your MPs track record? Wikipedia should have the info. But shock, horror! Somebody has been deleting those embarrassing little scandals of the past. Somebody with a House of Commons IP address. MPs include the lovely (no, not really ) Caroline Flint, Speaker John Bercow, and that Patrick Mercer man again.