In what can only be described as a badly-needed public service, The Poke website has come up with an underground map of the Daily Mail’s priorities. Scroll down for the map and click to get the whole thing. They also have a poster — sizes and prices not available at the moment.
Early Daily Mail Steam-Powered Headline Generator
It is now easy to see how so-called “stories” are originated. For years the Mail has been posing as a newspaper, despite rumours that many of its headlines were formulaic, and generated by a steam-powered machine in the basement. Now we know why.
On the map below, it is plain how Mail “journalists” have generated tittle-tattle for us to read. However, we have no idea who Malcolm Gladwell is, and we’re not going to look. It is also rather puzzling that the red Media Scum line has no station for P. Dacre, but perhaps he lives out of town.
Now, Daily Moaner staff are furiously concocting the story-to-end-them-all, containing elements from every station, from “Sick Filth ” in the far North to “George Galloway ” in the South. This herculean task will take time, but will repay our efforts if, at the end, the Daily Mail implodes through jealousy.
Readers (if we have any) are urged to send in their contributions, possibly explaining why to get from Roast Beef to Etonian Playboys, it is necessary to change at Paris Hilton.
Entire Map, Medium Large