Oh the noises coming from Parliament this morning! Our elected representatives (read: pack of lying, crooked bastards ) are bellowing like trapped mastodons being sucked down into the primordial ooze. There are screams of rage and fury from the wounded beasts, and the whole House has a faint whiff of rotten eggs.
We’ve had Sir Stuart Bell swearing blind that the Legg report will “draw a line under the whole affair”, and that the scandal wouldn’t influence voters. Yeah… he wishes. And we’ve seen Ann Widdecombe complaining in that fingernails-on-blackboard voice about the report’s unfairness.
Honest Dave Cameron was door-stepped by the TV cameras, and proclaimed that from now on Parliament would be a better and cleaner place, full of knights in white satin and fairy princesses. Though it was noticeable that his blink-rate was abnormally high.
Now we have Paul Clark, who used to be a transport minister, being ordered to repay £11,407 because he couldn’t provide the paperwork. Anyone who has ever dealt with the Revenue knows that when you tell them the dog ate your certificate of interest, they tell you to get something called a copy from your bank or mortgage provider. And if you can’t – or won’t – they quite rightly assume that the paperwork never existed in the first place.
As the song says — it’s getting mighty hard to find an honest man.