The Daily Moaner

That’s the economic PIGS we’re talking about –  Portugal, Italy, Greece and Spain.  And the hardly unexpected news today that Standard and Poor  — a credit rating agency — have just downgraded Greece’s credit rating.

What this means is that nobody wants to lend any more money to the Greeks, not even at colossal interest rates.  That’s it.  No more.  Finis.  It’s equivalent to having your credit cards cancelled.

Now there is likely to be no money in the Greek piggy bank to pay wages and other bills, because like all of us, they have been living on credit.  Which will lead to demo’s and violence in the street, and a HUGE series of severe cuts in public spending.  There is a big risk that they will be forced to default on repayments of their national debt.  Which in turn will hurt the banks they owe that debt to.  Which includes our  banks, which we have already bailed out once.

Standard and Poor have also downgraded Portugal.  Spain will probably be next.  Then maybe Italy.  A slow-motion series of tumbling domino’s is happening before our very eyes. 

A package of help worth 45 billion Euro’s (not enough according to Goldman Sachs)  is/was being arranged to bail Greece out, but Germany (who have been sensible enough to keep out of trouble) are saying that if their  portion is going to Greece, they want certain commitments.  Like all those savage spending cuts we were talking about just a moment ago.  Go back to step one.

Germany (and others) are suggesting that Greece should leave the Euro, at least temporarily, before all the financial earthquakes actually bring an end to the Euro.  .  The Daily Moaner is not clever enough to know what the Greeks use for money then.  Go back to drachma’s?  A meeting to discuss it is arranged for May 10th.  Your editor flies out to Greece on May 12th, and what he will find is anyone’s guess.  Will he be able to return?  Suppose my airline is unable to pay Greek airport taxes?  What happens then?  Do they hold us to ransom until the bill is paid?

Why is all this important?  Because although we are not in the euro, Britain is standing in the queue, sort of.  Our national debt is so high, it cannot be seen with binoculars.  We are running an annual deficit which adds to the debt every second.  And not one of the main political parties really wants to talk about it.  They believe if they told us the whole truth, they wouldn’t get elected.  Let’s all pretend it’s not happening.  Translation — they are putting party before country.

You are being asked to vote for gutless bastards.  But then — you knew that already.

Or actually, no — not the musical. That was just to lure you in.

Three weeks from now, your hunky editor will be lazing under a Greek sun, surrounded by adoring females, all anxious to slather his body with sun-tan oil.  This is a nuisance, but someone has to do it.  Or possibly being ferried around the Islands by Miss Fifi LaBelle, his glamorous chauffeuse.

Until now, a slight cloud on the horizon was that Greece, having spent all the drachma’s from days gone by, have now also spent all the Euro-thingies they had saved up in their trapeza  (Greek for piggy-bank), and one couldn’t be entirely certain that Euro-thingies would still be accepted there.  Thus there was a danger that those delicious chocolate crepes  wouldn’t be available.  Or the adoring females.  We’re sure that you sympathise.

But now, news has just arrived via  Anna Raccoon that Mr Papan Pappdre the Greek Prime Minister has just graciously agreed to accept billions of these Euro’s, which the EU and the IMF were pleading with them to take.

So that’s alright then.  Your editor’s holiday has been saved (volcano’s permitting), chocolate crepes  are back on the menu, ditto adoring females, Greece can write cheques again, and Daily Moaner readers will have nothing to read from May 12th through to May 27th.  UNLESS — we can figure out how to post articles in advance, or find an internet cafe.