Once again, the notion of high-speed rail links is being floated. This is a brilliant idea which has been made to work by quite a number of countries, but which Britain never seems to have got round to. But it does get wheeled out at regular intervals by political idiots whenever they feel the need for some headlines.
Faster Than a Flying Bullet
Today’s purveyor of the idea is Government useless wanker Transport Secretary “Lord” Adonis. Writing in the Times, he declares pompously that 2010 is to be “the year of high-speed rail in the UK “, and that he wants to see “low-cost, mass-market high speed rail “, thus combining his three major cliches-of-the-day into one phrase.
Reading further into the detail, we learn that High Speed Two — which is a company set up by Government ministers — has just delivered a sooper-dooper report on Adonis’s new toy, and has:
produced a route for a high-speed line with trains operating from a new central London station with details of how this line, using 400-metre long trains capable of carrying 1,100 passengers, could be financed.
Fantastic! And all this in the same year as an election! Who’d've thought? But… hang on a mo’….
The Government will reveal its plans by the end of March .
Isn’t that likely to be after a March election? What a super wheeze! Blast out the fan-fares and make the headlines now. Then afterwards:
- Labour win: Adonis will say that his pie-in-the-sky was eaten by all the flying pigs.
- Tories win and cancel the project: Adonis will say they are wasteful.
- Tories win and go for it: Adonis will say they are wasteful.
Adonis in Casual Mood
Like last year’s tragic outbreak of Milibands, Andrew Adonis has yet to do a proper job, having never worked a day in his life. His career path has been school, Oxford, academia, journalism and politics. No reasonable person would describe these occupations as work.
In 1994, after being a useless wanker Prospective Parliamentary Candidate for the Lib-Dems, he resigned without having fought an election. He then defected to become a useless wanker activist for New Labour, involved in local (Islington) politics. Then in 2005, he was created a life peer, for no apparent reason, and sent to the House of useless wankers Lords to represent the Government.
Expect him to end up in a high post in Brussels. Without ever having faced an election.
Instead, an MBE for Jensen Button, for driving very, very fast in a year when the Government are trying to cut speed on our roads. And an OBE for Ross Brawn, the presiding genius who made Jensen’s win possible.
