The Daily Moaner

Your editor has mentioned before that he is a smoker, though he has neglected to buy any for over four years.  But he was aghast (for the second time today) to read the words of Mr John Tilley.

Mr Tilley is a Senior Policy Manager for Tobacco from the Department of Health, who have found all kinds of super-wizard ways to waste our money, Mr Tilley being one of them. He addressed a conference recently, and spoke out loud the following words:

Action on smoking in the home will be a necessary part of future strategy on tobacco control.

Or, in English, we’re going to ban it.  They are going to tell you, me and your Auntie Ethel what we can and cannot do in our own homes. Not that they want to curtail our freedoms in any way, you understand.  No… it’s to protect the thousands of children from nasty, evil second-hand smoke.

No Thinking!

How do you think they’ll police it?  Networks of neighbourhood snitches?  I know — let’s build mini smoke-detectors into those little ration card gizmos we all have to carry on pain of death.

Hey, don’t try to argue. If we thought you had anything to say, we’d ask. But we didn’t. So shut the f*ck up and do what you’re told.

Most of you non-smokers like to have the odd drink or two, right?  They’ll be coming for you, next.

Autumn, 2009, and an Environmental Audit Committee’s thoughts lightly turn to… rationing. 

Ration Books

But this time round, not food as it was in the ’40′s and ’50′s. This time they want to ration carbon. Meaning energy. And they don’t see it as being a choice  that you’ll make on your own. They’re going to make  you.

“Personal carbon rations would have to be mandatory” they burble, ” imposed by Government in the same way that food rationing was introduced in the UK in 1939… Each person would receive an electronic card containing their year’s carbon credits ……the card would have to be presented when purchasing energy or travel services, and the correct amount of carbon deducted. The technologies and systems already in place for direct debit systems and credit cards could be used.”

Hey, isn’t that a great idea?  Combine this electronic card with the other ones… the ones carrying our ID data, biometrics, and the credit cards, and — here’s an idea — maybe these cards could have teensy-tiny GPS trackers in them, so that they would always know where we are and we couldn’t accidentally get lost, ‘cos Nanny State would come and find us. Yeah and maybe a microphone so we could call for help, so they could hear everything we said? What d’you think?

Paranoid?

Well, maybe.  But all the news seems to be headed in that direction.  Don’t tell us later we never warned you.