The Daily Moaner

January 10, 2010

Come and Get Me — Copper!

Filed under: Crime,Our Wonderful Police,PC Idiocy — Tags: — lenko @ 12:34 pm

Oh my, we are becoming a nation of over-sensitive souls!

Rother District Council were aghaster than aghast to read an e-mail received by their planning department. It came from a company objecting to an application from a woman to put a mobile home on land overlooking the Battle of Hastings site.

It had been written by a company employee, Paul Osmond, and included the words “it’s the ‘do as they likey’ attitude I am against “.

Where we at the Daily Moaner would have screamed “Typo !” (we’re very naive), the Council collectively clapped its hands over its ears, because they decided the comment was “racist”.  Why?  Because it rhymed with the word “pikey”, and if you permit people to say that, it will make your head explode.

So naturally, they ran to the po-lice station to tell Inspector Plod.  And he sent some minions — Plodettes — over one Sunday afternoon, to arrest — not Mr Osmond —  but the IT manager  of the company, because why not?

The Plodettes were gentle but firm. They told the poor bastard he could either go to the station voluntarily, or he could go in handcuffs. They stole confiscated his computer. They took his wife’s computer. They took his fingerprints. They put his DNA on their database. They put him in a cell for four hours.  All on “suspicion of committing a racial or religious offence “.

And all the above because someone on the council decided  ”it was an offensive comment, so we got in touch with the police “.

Cagney

Come and get me -- Copper!

Since when did pen-pushing, paper-shifting under-worked and over-paid council bastards get to decide what is offensive and what is not?  Or what is legal and what is not?  And since when did our wonderful police automatically carry out their orders?

If any particular wording within this article should prove offensive to the delicate sensibilities of council officials, or to the even more sensitive feelings of policemen everywhere — good! That is what blogs like the Daily Moaner are for.

Come and get me — copper!

December 27, 2009

Can This Be True?

Filed under: PC Idiocy — Tags: — lenko @ 12:52 pm

More “politically correct ” idiocy, this time by Sudbury Town Council, whose collective knickers have become twisted over bingo-calling. 

Two Fat Ladies -- Eighty-Eight!

Two Fat Ladies -- Eighty-Eight!

Apparently, unbeknownst to us all, the expression “two fat ladies” (meaning eighty-eight) reeks of uncorrectness, and is expressly designed to give maximum offence to those female bingo-addicts whose width is… shall we say… disproportionate to their height.

Legs Eleven

Legs Eleven!

Not only that but “legs eleven” is also a dodgy phrase which should be avoided, as it might be taken to imply that the caller was looking at ladies legs. Though a reasonable person… say a person not on a town council… might think that if the legs were on display, then they were meant to be looked at.

A town council spokeswoman said it was “sad” they had to give the advice but they had to be “politically correct”.

They had to be. Had to be. Where is it written? Where does it say that town councils have to invent this rubbish? But the BBC, whose story this is,  explains…

“I was advised that someone might take offence and we could end up being taken to court.”

So… it’s timidity. We are all to avoid giving the slightest offence to these probably mythical people who might – just might  — take us to court because we might — just might  again  — have looked at their fat legs. We are to order our affairs on the basis of events which might happen.

Let us all now laugh long and loud at Sudbury Town Council, the members of which have fat hairy legs,  bad breath, spots and are sexually unappealing. And if they feel like taking us to court, the Daily Moaner  will just take that chance.

Which is what they  should have done.

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