Commonplace Book « The Daily Moaner

September 25, 2009

As True Today as it was Then

Filed under: Commonplace Book — Tags: Gwendolyn, Recipes — lenko @ 6:18 pm

More from the hand-written Commonplace book of great-great-aunt Gwendolyn. (1876)

The Prescription

Would you wish to get well without failing

Of I know not what ill, which I know not for why?

For this Fortnight has seen you look feeble and ailing.

I prescribe you to buy:

How much I can’t say of a Root I know not;

To mix of I know not what simples a Potion

Pound I know not what Herbs, and of them make a Lotion;

Which applied piping hot will, for aught that I know

Make you eat, drink and sleep as a Fortnight ago.

But this I can venture for certain to say,

Half the Doctors in London prescribe the same way.

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September 24, 2009

Homeopathic Soup

Filed under: Commonplace Book — Tags: Gwendolyn, Recipes — lenko @ 7:23 pm

From the Commonplace Book of great-great-aunt Gwendolyn.

“Take two starved Pigeons. Hang them by a string in the Kitchen Window, bookpage so that the Sun will cast the Shadows of the Pigeons into an Iron Pot, already on the Fire, and which will hold two Gallons of Water; boil the Shadows over a slow Fire for ten hours and then give the Patient one drop is a Glass of Water every ten days.”

Great-great-aunt Gwendolyn died years later, at the age of 107.

So it seems to work.

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Welcome!

Filed under: Commonplace Book — Tags: General, Gwendolyn — lenko @ 1:37 pm

Welcome to this first edition of the Daily Moaner (incorporating the Weekly Whinge), home of world-class whining, hand wringing and all-round general despair. Whether the subject is the weird ways of women, the even weirder ways of Americans, or just the infuriating thingey-ness of life, here you can relax and experience high-quality moaning. Or why not join in and add your own two-pennyworth in the comments section.

All of the slaves staff at our palatial offices are fully qualified complainers, with hundreds of years experience in the field. My associate editor and some-time bedmate Grizelda Atkins (no, really!) will also be going on and on and on about the short-comings of men. I shall be doing my best, as always, to handle women.

Also posting from time to time will be great-great-aunt Gwendolyn. It is true that she actually died in 1928, but she left for posterity her Commonplace book, a hand-written tome of 322 eye-straining pages, dating back to 1876. My aunt had been jilted at the altar, and spent the rest of her days waiting for Mr Right. Sadly, he got the wrong house, and married the woman next door.

Such is life….

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